Weakness: Liability or Asset?

Coming back from a wonderful vacation was particularly difficult this time. No one ever likes for a good trip to end, but this return home was coupled with a first appointment with my chemo oncologist. What lies ahead is not going to be easy and it’s almost certainly going to put my weakness on display, no matter how much I might try to hide it. So, here is the plan: I start my first cycle of chemo (1 day every three weeks for eight hours) on July 21. I’ll have four cycles and then a little break before radiation. I’ll receive radiation 5 days a week for 5 weeks and then 2 more cycles of chemo. I don’t know how my body will respond to all of this, but I do know I’m in for a cool summer hair-do. In the midst of this, I will work to set up Living Waters – the new biblical counselling ministry of Faith Reformed Church. I can hear some of you saying “yikes” as you read that.

I know that plenty of people regularly do difficult things - things that are far more difficult than my current path. Maybe I’m just a whiny weakling (a serious possibility). Perhaps they have more courage than me or more strength. Perhaps they’ve faced preparatory difficulties in the past that as Paul puts it in Romans 4 produced endurance, character, and hope. I’m not feeling up to this though; in fact, I’m feeling downright weak and ill-prepared for the fight ahead. But is weakness a bad thing?

In order to understand the weakness that’s in me (and in you), let’s trace some of the contours of weakness through Scripture.

• From the beginning humans were created to be limited and dependent on God’s ongoing care. We were also made to live and work with other people. These kinds of “weaknesses” are a part of God’s good design for his creatures! (Ge 1 and 2)

• Weakness expands and distorts to include fallenness. In the quest of our first parents for independence from God’s rules and provision, Adam and Eve chose to disobey and their first response to their disobedience was to hide. Guilt and shame infiltrated our relationship with God and with one another. The consequence included work that would be unfruitful, pain, and ultimately death, but God had a plan to deal with sin’s curse. (Ge 3)

• Jacob wrestled with God and was blessed with a lifelong weakness. In the limp, God’s gift to him was the constant reminder that he was fully and completely dependent on grace. God allowed Jacob to win and as a result he receives God’s blessing and the name Israel. The Lord made himself weak in order to deliver the promise of grace. God’s plan of redemption would pass through Jacob in an even greater display of taking on weakness. (Ge 32)

• Gideon knew his weakness, and among them was incredible fear. Least in the tribe of Manasseh and youngest in his father’s house, how he could possibly help his people? All he saw were his liabilities, but the Lord promised to be with him. In fulfilling the promise of his presence, Gideon’s army of 300 routed the vast Midianite army with trumpets, torches, and a shout. The glory for that victory clearly belongs to the Lord, who was at work through weakness to accomplish his mighty acts. (Jg 6-8)

• The psalmists speak repeatedly of their weakness. We see each of them make a choice that has become contrary to our natural response – they ask for help! Like our first parents, we’d prefer to hide our weaknesses, failures, and need, but the psalm writers do something that only happens by God’s grace – they cry out to him in all their needs. Listen to the snippets of just a few of their prayers:

In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Psalm 18:6

To you, O Lord, I cry, and to the Lord I plead for mercy… Psalm 30:8

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! Psalm 130:1

Whether the need is from outside trouble, inner turmoil, or consequences of psalm writer’s own sinfulness, we see that they speak openly and honestly to the God who knows us, hears us, and acts on our behalf.

• Weakness reached its pinnacle in a tiny baby - the God of all creation – who took on the form of a human. Imagine God, helpless and needy, dependent on others even as we are. He took on weakness for you and I, to undo the curse that our claim to independence brought in the fall. He displayed weakness and neediness when he was tempted in the desert, and as he agonized in the garden. He preached that the poor, the meek, and those who mourn were the ones, the weak ones, that were blessed. To those who were self-confident and self-righteous he taught that only the sick need a doctor and only sinners know of their need for a saviour. He said that faith comes from becoming like a child. His teaching pointed out that he was here for all those who are weak and needy. Jesus is intimately familiar with our weaknesses and need for he has walked among us, struggling beneath sin’s temptation and weight, and incredible suffering. (He 4:15-16)

• A few years later, the God of grace and glory embraced weakness fully in his suffering and death. In his hour of need, Jesus experienced something you and I never will - the Father turned his face away. Jesus faced his weakness and need utterly alone. But weakness and death could not hold him. For our sake the holy God became sin, even though he had not sinned himself, in order that you and I might be raised with him to new life. He dealt with our weakness, including the death-dealing weakness of our sin, by his death and resurrection. (2 Co 13:4) And because of his work, weakness takes on an entirely new power.

• Paul’s pride (and independence?) was limited by a weakness that, though he had repeatedly asked God to remove, remained by his grace. The path way to power leads straight through weakness and Paul was well-rehearsed in things that put his weakness on display – imprisonment, weakness, beatings, sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, and anxiety to name a few. Christ’s power rests on the weak, so we’re free to boast in our weakness rather than hide it. (2 Co 12:7-10, 11:16-30).

Ken has just started his summer sermon series on the Armour of God from Ephesians 6 – and the reading began with “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.” (v. 10). My palms can sweat and my knees can knock. My stomach can knot and my emotions can run high (higher even than normal!) I can struggle with exhaustion from sleeplessness nights and the weight of “what ifs”, but strength for the battle doesn’t come from me - it comes from being united to the death-defeating, all-powerful, sovereign Lord of all! Friends, if you are also looking for strength in all of your weakness, it doesn’t come from your mental focus, emotional control, or physical effort - it comes by being and remaining connected to Jesus. In him weakness is actually a strength because it compels me to turn to him in trust. In him, I’m free to own my weakness and dependence rather than hide it, and to watch and wait for him to accomplish mighty things through my weakness.

I suppose it is no surprise that dependence is something that I’m learning these days, and it’s painful and difficult to be brought to the end of myself. I’m learning to ask for help – from the Lord and from people. How merciful and patient is the Lord to those who are dependent on him for every breath! So, on this journey, there will be no picking myself up by my bootstraps and no inner mantra to generate strength. I intend to run to him in facing this battle, because held in his abundant love, my weakness is being redeemed and transformed.

Firmly in his grip,
Christina