February's Reflections on Calvin's Institutes

6. While knowledge of God is available in creation, anyone who would come to know him needs Scripture to guide and instruct them.
- Nature alone isn’t enough to direct us rightly to the Creator. We need Scripture to direct us to right and sound doctrine.
- Apart from Scripture, we fall into error.
- Creator and sustainer of heaven and earth, all of your works declare your glory, but I am blinded to it by my sin. ---- - Thank you for the grace that you have shown me in giving us Scripture so that I might truly know you. Help me to delight in your word because it shows me you.


7. Scripture’s authority comes through its speaker, not its hearers.
- The truth of Scripture doesn’t depend on the decision of humans.
- Scripture teaches (Eph. 2:20) that the church is built upon the Word.
- The truth of Scripture is dependent on believing that God is its author. Reason won’t convince us of the truth; it requires the testimony of the Spirit. The same Spirit that spoke the words must illumine us to their truth.
- "By this power we are drawn and inflamed, knowingly and willingly, to obey him, yet also more vitally and more effectively than by mere human willing of knowing!"
- God who spoke long ago by prophets and apostles, thank you for your word. Thank you that its truth is something that lies entirely outside of me, and thank you for revealing its truth to me by your Spirit. Remind me and all your church that we are under your Word. Draw and inflame hearts to its beautiful testimony. Increase our love for your word and by your Spirit speak your Word to every tribe, tongue, and nation.
- Because I need a reminder every now and then of the TREASURE of the Word, I thought I’d share a video I’ve watched repeatedly that speaks to my heart. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9dpmp_-TY0


8. Human reason gives proofs of Scripture’s credibility – believing in Scripture’s truth isn’t illogical or a “blind leap of faith”. (I’m summarizing Calvin’s thoughts on this – not offering my own)
- All the parts of Scripture are united in a wisdom that expresses divine mystery in simple human language. Other writing might affect us, but only Scripture is powerful enough to transform us.
- The content of Scripture is beyond human conception, whether the style is eloquent (like Isaiah) or unrefined (like Amos).
- The narrative of Scripture doesn’t idealize the characters, instead it reveals messy and broken people.
- The Word of God was confirmed by miracles e.g. Moses published all the events of the exodus to eyewitnesses.
- The prophecies spoken of in Scripture are fulfilled in surprising ways.
- Scripture tells us that the law of God was preserved in spite of human negligence.
- God has preserved his Word through the ages. Even as some worked to destroy it, others gave their lives to transmit it.
- The Spirit used multiple, ordinary men (and one even who was previously a murderous enemy) to witness to the gospel
- The church has trusted its authority throughout the ages, even though the world and evil one conspired to destroy it.
- Scripture’s authority is confirmed in the blood of martyrs.
- All the proof in the world won’t convince an unbeliever that Scripture is the Word of God, that will only come as a result of faith that is generated by the Spirit.
- Heavenly Father, thank you that in your infinite wisdom you gave us your Word and that you’ve preserved it by your providence. Thank you that you call us, not to an unthinking leap of faith, but to a faith that loves you with our minds. Thank you for the gift of faith that causes me to trust that your Word is true. Forgive me for wandering from your truth, breaking your commandments, distorting your teaching to serve my own ends, and failing to trust your promises. Help me to love your Word and transform me by it.


9. Word AND Spirit
-The Spirit doesn’t lead us away from Scripture to new kinds of revelation and doctrine, but seals our minds with the truth of Scripture.
- We recognize the Holy Spirit by his agreement with Scripture. Since the Spirit is the author of Scripture, he is as he has revealed himself there.
- The same Spirit who spoke the Word efficaciously confirms it.
- Heavenly Father, thank you for revealing yourself and your work through Word and Spirit. Thank you for sending the Spirit to lead us into all truth. Make me a careful student of your Word, who tests the spirits by the truth that the Holy Spirit has revealed therein. Guard your church by Word and Spirit against false doctrine and deceitful schemes. Keep us firmly rooted in doctrine that agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness.

January's Reflections on Calvin's Institutes

So I'm reading Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion this year. One month in to this project, I can say decisively that this stuff is an absolute treasure. His writing is warmly devotional and not too difficult (I do have days or portions that I need to read a couple of times). Each week I read a chapter, take some notes, and respond with a short prayer. I'll post a month's worth of my notes at a time.

1. To know God, I must know myself & to know myself, I must know God –
- Wisdom (knowledge + practice) is rooted in knowing God and ourselves. This connection is established in creation– we are made in his image- to rightly know ourselves, we’ve always needed to know him
- This knowledge is complicated by the fall – our image is marred and we can’t come to wisdom apart from his revelation
- The two parts of this knowledge go hand-in-hand. I need to know that I am sinful, needy, foolish so that I might seek him. AND I need to know him in his splendour, majesty and holiness that I might not measure myself by merely a horizontal comparison and fail to come to an accurate assessment of myself and my need of him.
- Heavenly Father, my wisdom is so little. I confess that I don’t know you as I should, so I also don’t know myself. I confess that I measure my righteousness by that of my neighbours, leading me consistently to pride and self-righteousness. I think myself wise and strong, independent of you, my Creator. Because I fail to acknowledge your true nature, I am deceived about my own. Sadly, too often I prefer my ignorant darkness to your humbling, fear-inducing beauty. I am one who knows the truth and yet suppresses it. Forgive me because of Christ’s work on my behalf and shine the light of truth into my darkness.

2. Piety (reverence + love) and trust are requisite in knowing God (as Creator)
- It’s not possible to truly know God without loving, revering, and trusting him.
- apart from Christ there is no favourable knowledge of God – therefore Scripture is the only way to rightly know the Creator
- Through Creation (with Scripture) we come to know that God founded and sustains the universe by his might, regulates it by his wisdom, preserves it by his goodness, and rules it (including us) by his righteousness and judgment, bears with it in his mercy, watches over it by his protection, and no wisdom; power; or truth exists apart from him THEREFORE humanity owes everything to Him. Until we acknowledge this we won’t give ourselves truly to him.
- Knowing God isn’t a philosophical exercise, it is a personal one. As part of his creation, knowing him should generate both reverence and trust as we recognize him as the source of every good.
- Knowing God isn’t dreaming up any god we please, but contemplating the one and only true God and responding with reverence and trust - it submits to his authority, seeks his help, rests in his goodness, advances his glory, and restrains its sin. *** “Even if there were no hell, it would still shudder at offending him alone.”
- Oh Lord, how little my mind conceives of your majesty. The stunning beauty of your revelation in creation alone is enough to cause me to bow down in worship. You are a God who wants to reveal yourself to your creatures and I praise you for all that you’ve shown me. Your goodness, wisdom, righteousness, justice, truth, and power are all evident through the world around me. Forgive me for not seeing, for my feeble responses, for shallow and half-hearted reverence, love, and trust. Help me to know you more that I might worship you rightly.

3. All men know God.
- All men know God enough to be condemned, so all hide from him just as our first parent’s did.
- Every isolated civilization knows there is a god, even if in ignorance they worship a false one. Every impious person knows there is a god, even if in fear they try to hide it from themselves. Humanity tries by every means possible to destroy their knowledge of God and corrupt their worship of him.
- We were made with the purpose of knowing God.
- Heavenly Father, apart from your intervention I would stand condemned. Thank you for opening my eyes. I confess that even now, even though I know you to be the Only True and Living God, I worship false gods – reputation, comfort, pleasure- and all too often hide from you in fear when I’ve done wrong. Forgive me and renew my delight in you. Help me to pursue knowing you with everything I am and all that I have.

4. The knowledge is either corrupted or smothered – partly by ignorance, partly by malice.
- Humanity does not receive God as he offers himself but imagines him as they’ve invent/dream him to be – it is a vain curiosity that drives them not an ordinate desire to know him.
- Humanity, hardened by habitual sin, repels any and all remembrance of God and his true character. They blind themselves from any knowledge of him.
- There is no true religion without a commitment to truth – it must conform what God says about himself and how he is to be worshiped.
- Fear-driven motions of religion without repentance is a corruption of the knowledge of God.
- Father even though I know you my sinful flesh still wants to suppress that knowledge. I confess to you that my ignorance of your character is rooted in nothing less that my laziness and my vain religious motions are desires to manipulate you into giving me your gifts or impress others with my displays. Your word says that you desire worshipers who will worship in spirit and in truth. Purify my heart, oh God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Thank you for mercy, so undeserved and so free.

5. Knowledge of God is evident in both his creating and governing the universe.
- Humans are the highest evidence of a wise creator.
- God reveals himself through creation but few see his glory revealed in it.
- We ought to seek God, not in our own minds, but instead by contemplating him in his works.
- This knowledge must affect us – bringing us to worship and awakening and encouraging us to the hope of the future life. The works of his providence and judgement in creation are pointing to even greater things. We need to study his work and then contemplate how his characteristics of power, mercy, goodness and wisdom are shown to us.
- Yet how infrequently when we gaze upon creation do we remember our creator?
- Each man decides for himself what god is and always comes out wrong. We need God to reveal himself.
- Nature speaks to us in vain, and we are left with no excuse. Although creation displays his glory, it cannot lead us in the right path. The problem is not in the one who reveals himself through creation, but in us, the creatures who ignore and corrupt the knowledge of our Creator.
- In the rain that falls, I see your abundant provision O God. In the fact that it falls on the righteous and the unrighteous, I see your justice for therein is the promise of a day that judgement will be divide but I also perceive the wideness of your mercy in withholding punishment. In the timing of the shower and the grand design of the hydrological cycle, I see your wisdom. In the droplets running together to form rivers, streams, lakes, and oceans, I see your majestic power. You, O Lord, are worthy of all worship. How small and inconsistently I see the glory you reveal in the world you made. Forgive my blindness, my deafness, my feebleness of mind through Jesus and in your grace transform my faculties that I may behold you with greater clarity.

Weakness: Liability or Asset?

Coming back from a wonderful vacation was particularly difficult this time. No one ever likes for a good trip to end, but this return home was coupled with a first appointment with my chemo oncologist. What lies ahead is not going to be easy and it’s almost certainly going to put my weakness on display, no matter how much I might try to hide it. So, here is the plan: I start my first cycle of chemo (1 day every three weeks for eight hours) on July 21. I’ll have four cycles and then a little break before radiation. I’ll receive radiation 5 days a week for 5 weeks and then 2 more cycles of chemo. I don’t know how my body will respond to all of this, but I do know I’m in for a cool summer hair-do. In the midst of this, I will work to set up Living Waters – the new biblical counselling ministry of Faith Reformed Church. I can hear some of you saying “yikes” as you read that.

I know that plenty of people regularly do difficult things - things that are far more difficult than my current path. Maybe I’m just a whiny weakling (a serious possibility). Perhaps they have more courage than me or more strength. Perhaps they’ve faced preparatory difficulties in the past that as Paul puts it in Romans 4 produced endurance, character, and hope. I’m not feeling up to this though; in fact, I’m feeling downright weak and ill-prepared for the fight ahead. But is weakness a bad thing?

In order to understand the weakness that’s in me (and in you), let’s trace some of the contours of weakness through Scripture.

• From the beginning humans were created to be limited and dependent on God’s ongoing care. We were also made to live and work with other people. These kinds of “weaknesses” are a part of God’s good design for his creatures! (Ge 1 and 2)

• Weakness expands and distorts to include fallenness. In the quest of our first parents for independence from God’s rules and provision, Adam and Eve chose to disobey and their first response to their disobedience was to hide. Guilt and shame infiltrated our relationship with God and with one another. The consequence included work that would be unfruitful, pain, and ultimately death, but God had a plan to deal with sin’s curse. (Ge 3)

• Jacob wrestled with God and was blessed with a lifelong weakness. In the limp, God’s gift to him was the constant reminder that he was fully and completely dependent on grace. God allowed Jacob to win and as a result he receives God’s blessing and the name Israel. The Lord made himself weak in order to deliver the promise of grace. God’s plan of redemption would pass through Jacob in an even greater display of taking on weakness. (Ge 32)

• Gideon knew his weakness, and among them was incredible fear. Least in the tribe of Manasseh and youngest in his father’s house, how he could possibly help his people? All he saw were his liabilities, but the Lord promised to be with him. In fulfilling the promise of his presence, Gideon’s army of 300 routed the vast Midianite army with trumpets, torches, and a shout. The glory for that victory clearly belongs to the Lord, who was at work through weakness to accomplish his mighty acts. (Jg 6-8)

• The psalmists speak repeatedly of their weakness. We see each of them make a choice that has become contrary to our natural response – they ask for help! Like our first parents, we’d prefer to hide our weaknesses, failures, and need, but the psalm writers do something that only happens by God’s grace – they cry out to him in all their needs. Listen to the snippets of just a few of their prayers:

In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Psalm 18:6

To you, O Lord, I cry, and to the Lord I plead for mercy… Psalm 30:8

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! Psalm 130:1

Whether the need is from outside trouble, inner turmoil, or consequences of psalm writer’s own sinfulness, we see that they speak openly and honestly to the God who knows us, hears us, and acts on our behalf.

• Weakness reached its pinnacle in a tiny baby - the God of all creation – who took on the form of a human. Imagine God, helpless and needy, dependent on others even as we are. He took on weakness for you and I, to undo the curse that our claim to independence brought in the fall. He displayed weakness and neediness when he was tempted in the desert, and as he agonized in the garden. He preached that the poor, the meek, and those who mourn were the ones, the weak ones, that were blessed. To those who were self-confident and self-righteous he taught that only the sick need a doctor and only sinners know of their need for a saviour. He said that faith comes from becoming like a child. His teaching pointed out that he was here for all those who are weak and needy. Jesus is intimately familiar with our weaknesses and need for he has walked among us, struggling beneath sin’s temptation and weight, and incredible suffering. (He 4:15-16)

• A few years later, the God of grace and glory embraced weakness fully in his suffering and death. In his hour of need, Jesus experienced something you and I never will - the Father turned his face away. Jesus faced his weakness and need utterly alone. But weakness and death could not hold him. For our sake the holy God became sin, even though he had not sinned himself, in order that you and I might be raised with him to new life. He dealt with our weakness, including the death-dealing weakness of our sin, by his death and resurrection. (2 Co 13:4) And because of his work, weakness takes on an entirely new power.

• Paul’s pride (and independence?) was limited by a weakness that, though he had repeatedly asked God to remove, remained by his grace. The path way to power leads straight through weakness and Paul was well-rehearsed in things that put his weakness on display – imprisonment, weakness, beatings, sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, and anxiety to name a few. Christ’s power rests on the weak, so we’re free to boast in our weakness rather than hide it. (2 Co 12:7-10, 11:16-30).

Ken has just started his summer sermon series on the Armour of God from Ephesians 6 – and the reading began with “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.” (v. 10). My palms can sweat and my knees can knock. My stomach can knot and my emotions can run high (higher even than normal!) I can struggle with exhaustion from sleeplessness nights and the weight of “what ifs”, but strength for the battle doesn’t come from me - it comes from being united to the death-defeating, all-powerful, sovereign Lord of all! Friends, if you are also looking for strength in all of your weakness, it doesn’t come from your mental focus, emotional control, or physical effort - it comes by being and remaining connected to Jesus. In him weakness is actually a strength because it compels me to turn to him in trust. In him, I’m free to own my weakness and dependence rather than hide it, and to watch and wait for him to accomplish mighty things through my weakness.

I suppose it is no surprise that dependence is something that I’m learning these days, and it’s painful and difficult to be brought to the end of myself. I’m learning to ask for help – from the Lord and from people. How merciful and patient is the Lord to those who are dependent on him for every breath! So, on this journey, there will be no picking myself up by my bootstraps and no inner mantra to generate strength. I intend to run to him in facing this battle, because held in his abundant love, my weakness is being redeemed and transformed.

Firmly in his grip,
Christina

Good News

Ken and I met with Dr. Schneider, my radiation oncologist, on Friday at Windsor’s Cancer Centre. I’m thankful that he’s a pleasant man who took the time to answer all of our questions. I tried to be patient, but I’m not sure I heard anything he said before I finally asked if he had received the results of my CT scan. I’d been preparing myself for bad news, but he reported that the scan was CLEAR! They found no evidence of cancer below my neck (the scan didn’t include my head and neck). It appears my uterine cancer was stage one.

While the news is a great relief, we still have a journey ahead of us. Because of the aggressive nature of both types of cancer, I’ll be receiving chemo and radiation. Dr. Schneider explained that little pockets of cancer cells may not be visible on the CT scan, so treatment will prevent any growth in what may be hiding. I don’t know when I start treatment, but we’re off for some camping before we meet with my new chemo oncologist. Thank you all for praying for and with us – not just for my physical health but also for our hearts. God has been gracious to us – but that would have been no less true if the news had been bad. No matter where this part of the journey takes us “I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” (Psalm 34:1 ESV)

Firmly in his grip,
Christina

Living With Uncertainty

Not surprisingly, I’ve been struggling beneath intense fear recently. Hearing the word cancer from the doctor causes the sturdiest heart to quake, but my fear didn’t start or stop there. Like pulling on a loose thread in a hand knit sweater, my fears have multiplied into a growing mountain - fear of hardship for loved ones, fear of implications for the counselling ministry, fear of painful treatment, fear of disease advancement (I had my CT Scan recently for staging and I’m waiting for results), fear of financial ramifications, and fear of facing my mortality, to name just a few that form my current mountain.

Fear has always been one of my chief struggles. I worry about anything and everything - being late for a morning appointment because my alarm clock malfunctions, financial ruin, how my words or actions are being received by another person... Some of my fears are prophecies of hopelessness about the future; they begin with the words “what if” and are followed by imagined scenarios of lack and loss. These are my “the sky is falling” fears, and they’ve been teeming lately.

But some fear is justified: We all live in a world where we have little control over what happens. The choices we make, right or wrong, have ramifications that we can’t always foresee or mitigate. The people around us make similar choices, and their decisions affect us, sometimes in profound ways. And if those aren’t sufficient justification for fear, scripture repeatedly tells us that there is an enemy who “is intent on tempting, corrupting, and destroying humanity, precisely because God is bent on redeeming, sanctifying, and restoring it. His work is wicked, his methods are malicious, his efforts are evil, and his plans are appalling,” to quote Ken’s sermon from last Sunday. Fear is a noisy and persistent companion in this life, but it needn’t be something that defines any part of our journey.

The Lord said it to Joshua when he faced an enemy alliance. The angel said it to teenage Mary before a call to costly obedience. Jesus said it to his disciples as he strolled across the lake. “Do not be afraid” is a repeated some 300 times throughout the Bible. It’s comforting to know that scripture anticipates our fear. Psalm 56:3a says, “When I am afraid” anticipating that before some enemies, fear is a realistic and appropriate emotional response, and it’s comforting to know that God doesn’t want to leave any of us paralyzed by it. Fear is a real part of the journey that has been set before me. So what can I do as I worry about the monsters under my bed?

Often people suffering with fear are admonished with the words, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6, ESV) “Stop worrying and start praying” is biblical advice, but it feels like a burden when you’re already weighed down with worry. Picture a child who has a nightmare. What do they do upon waking - they call out for mom or dad because their loving presence is comforting. My fears thrive when I believe that I’m alone, so God is constantly reassuring me and all those suffering beneath the weight of fears that he is with us. He says it to Jacob on his way back to the once livid Esau. He says it to Moses when he sends him back to Egypt. He says it to all of Israel through Isaiah. And he says it fully in Jesus whose very name “Emmanuel” means that God is with us. Have you ever noticed the words that proceed that oft given advice for worriers? Notice how our Heavenly Father arrives on the scene and listens to our cares… The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:5b-7 ESV). Daddy’s here. It’s okay, tell me all about it.

Today, the day before I get the results of my CT scan and a week after inconclusive thyroid biopsy results, I face a choice: will I succumb to the fears that beckon me to believe that I’m alone and all is hopeless, or will I fix my eyes on Jesus, speaking honestly to him about my difficulty and listen to his promises, trusting in his presence and provision? Fear is an opportunity to know God’s presence and care, and the pathway honestly and directly through it is the one that leads peace, even in the fiercest storm.

Firmly in his grip,
Christina

Gift?

"Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:10b, ESV) Job asked an important question of his wife when he faced horrific suffering and it's a question that I've been reflecting on a lot in recent days. Throughout my 37 years I've been the recipient of abundant blessings from the hand of God and I'm grateful for every one of them. Among them are you - my family and friends, who have and continue to bless me in a million ways. You truly are among the good that I've received from God! It's easy to attribute gifts to the hand of God, but what about the "evil" that Job is speaking about?

Two weeks ago, I got personal news of "evil". After my recent hysterectomy the pathology came back reporting two types of aggressive cancer in my uterus. Technically speaking, they found mixed high grade endometrioid and clear cell carcinomas. How does a person deal with a surreal diagnosis? I've cycled between denial and despair, but Paul sums up an important reality and how I felt hearing the word "cancer" as he speaks about his own suffering in Asia Minor. "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." (2 Corinthians 1:9 ESV) In so many ways, the doctor's words have felt like just that - a death sentence. But Paul adds something to my understanding of my suffering - this diagnosis, this "evil" that Job speaks about as being from God's hand, is going to help me learn not to rely on myself. Is it possible that this "evil" might also be a gift? Just over two weeks in on this journey, I can see that truth already at work. I've been messy (and I still am regularly) but when my eyes are on Jesus, I know peace and even joy.

The good news is that Jesus has been here - in no way is this unchartered territory. He knows because he walked this path. He received not only a death sentence but execution at the hands of his creatures. He faced evil head-on and in doing so undid all of its power. And he did it for me and you. But death didn't get the final word with him, and it needn't for us either. We simply need to rely fully on him. A death sentence, whether that of sin or even a cancer diagnosis, is nothing for the One who raises the dead. In the words of Paul, "He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." (2 Corinthians 1:10, ESV)

I plan to write updates here as I get information and journey through both chemotherapy and radiation, but you're not just going to find treatment updates because I don't intend to waste my cancer. I plan to talk a lot about what God has and is doing in me. I'd be grateful for any prayers that you'd offer on my behalf - for my healing and my heart, that through this "evil," I'd know and rely on the Lord in increasing measure. Firmly in his grip, Christina